Default

Growing up in a Christian family, I've never really experienced what it feels like seeking and finding. My 'default religion', if there even is such a thing, is Christianity. I attend children church, youth fellowship, cell group and Sunday service.

Sometimes, I really wish that I was a non-believer. I want to have the feeling of really seeking for what I want and finally find it. At least, you know that it is truly you that made that choice. Often times, I feel that many ex-non-believers, when they eventually find what they were looking for and accepted Christ, are much more passionate and enthusiastic than many of those who grew up in Christian families. They grow so much faster spiritually than we do. 

But then I realize that that shouldn't be the case. Everyone, regardless of their family background, should have their own personal encounter with God that leads to their decision of being a follower. God has His own plans for us when He placed us in different family backgrounds, He has different ways to reach out to us, too. 

I have a friend who recently just accepted Christ, whom I knew from uni. Her testimony is just amazing. She used to think so lowly of herself, causing her to shut herself from people. Then came the day when she realize there is this God who loves her so much despite her imperfections. Ever since, her life totally changed. To be really frank, I am very encouraged to see her grow so fast and so much in her faith and her heart for God's kingdom. She is already serving in her cell group and is planning on joining a ministry in church soon. Look at me, I am still lazing stagnantly in my comfort zone. 

And I wonder why God doesn't use me as much as others, and I wonder why I grow slower than others. Maybe it's really time for me to start thinking of how I can be of more use in His kingdom.