Broken

I don't remember the last time I was so stressed that I broke down. At least, not until last night. I am supposed to hand in an annotated bibliography due in two days, but I have no clue at all if I am even on the right track. I've read countless articles, but to me, they all look the same. How am I supposed to summarize them and determine whether they are useful or relevant to my research?

The stress that I was facing, adding onto the overdose of caffeine, I couldn't fall asleep no matter how hard I tried to, which then led me to overthink about my assignment, which led to more stress, and the vicious cycle just went on and on till I finally broke down. Feeling mentally and emotionally exhausted yet unable to put your mind to rest is probably the worst feeling ever. That slow torture, I would never want to experience again. 

In the state of helplessness I prayed. Hard. And I called home. I finally understood, when the world turns against you, the best place to go is still home. With the encouragement and support I got, I was so comforted after that phone call. I am blessed to have such a family. 

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One of the reasons why I didn't want to tell my brother about what I'm going through is because I KNOW that he will definitely want to meet up with me if he knows. And I don't have time for that. But my mom just HAD TO ask him to check on me, which he did, and insisted that he will come over. Now, he is cooking dinner for me, despite himself being so busy with work. Also, he decided to help me with my work, and we ended it of with yet another powerful prayer of his. I have always enjoyed his company.

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I don't expect anybody to understand what I am going through. But my housemate did. I came back from church to see a note on my table, asking me to hang on in there. I know she loves Kit Kat, and it's frigging green tea flavoured, who can say no to that?! But she left it there on my table. I'm grateful beyond words.