Busy

Busy.

For the entire semester, that's the only word that came out of me whenever someone asked me how I was. I'm pretty sure I must have said it so much that I managed to annoy some of my friends. But I only did that because I couldn't seem to find another word that can aptly describe my day/week/month/semester.

I live on a gram of caffeine each day.

I live on an hour of conversation on a regular weekday.

I live on six hours of sleep each day, not because I can afford it but simply because any less than six hours will just make me groggy the next day and decrease my productivity tremendously.

The rest of the day, excluding tutes, pracs and workshops, I am pretty much in my room. On my bed. Not sleeping.

Reading and writing. I recently discovered the usefulness of a TV in my research course - I can simply extend my computer screen with it. I have no idea why this thought has never crossed my mind until a friend pointed it out to me one day; my dad has always been doing that! And so, my bed is the closest platform to my TV. Therefore, it has since, by default, become my new workplace. I even put cardboards next to my bed as 'whiteboards'.

Taking two heavy courses in one semester is already a huge mistake, but it's one that I didn’t regret. I have learned that not all mistakes make you regret, some just push you to strive harder. I was forced to learn programming and electronics. I had to read up on extremely technical issues on energy, some which I don't even understand. I haven't been to a single chemistry lecture since week one, and have stopped attending math lectures too after week four because I have no time for that. I have learned the importance of having reflective journals in order to monitor progress and refine thoughts. I was pushed out of my comfort zone when I needed to present my research findings to my supervisor's supervisor (some CEO guy) and a cohort of intelligent students. None of these was easy.

But that was not all. I got myself involved in a mission trip and so we have a lot of planning, trainings, preparations and fundraising to do. And there was mentoring, Bible studies and endless (deep, constructive) conversations that really provoked a series of thought process to take place in the brain. I'm sure many new neuron routes must have been established in my brain LOL. Serving in ministries, road trips, and evax brought friendship to a whole new level. New bonds were formed, old ones, strengthened. It was also truly a humbling process, to be willing to be corrected and taught.

I live by the help of friends.

I live by the support of my family members.

I live by the understanding of my housemates.

I live by the grace of God.

I know I definitely wouldn’t have pulled through this semester if any one of the aforementioned element is absent.

How many times I felt this guilt eating me on the inside for not being able to participate in my household activities? I've lost count. And myself thinking that I've loved enough, only to be reprimanded by an inner voice telling me I have yet to learn to love. I looked at them, they did not complain although they were doing all the work, and then there was me…

Whenever I get stressed, there will only be two solutions to it. Or maybe three, the third one being procrastinate and trying to escape from reality, which will not get me anywhere still. The first two being cry (yes, I cry a lot these days) and call home. Somehow, there is just this peace I get whenever I call home, despite knowing they can't do much being thousands of miles away.

OH I can't even list out all the times my friends helped me. With my projects, research, in my daily live; simply picking me up when I fall and get me back on track.

But most importantly it was God overseeing everything throughout. He placed people and occasions  at the right time right place. He knows best.