It has been an extremely hectic week with me spending most of my time working on my Preliminary Investigation Report (PIR) for my Engineering Design course. Me being myself, I procrastinated till the very last week to start on the report, and was so anxious when I realized that it is more complicated than I thought it to be. However, to my surprise, I got it done two days before it is due, partly because I felt like I was freed from bondage once it has been completed and I told myself I wouldn't want to look back at it. I've seen friends who have worked a lot harder than I did on this report, some up to the extent of working till 6am throughout the night. Although I wouldn't say that I took this lightly, 'cause for sure I did not, but I truly believe that there is no way I could have done it with my own strength. His hands were there somewhere.
I am not a person who would spend a lot on shopping. To be honest, I used to hate shopping a lot. But recent years, I guess the inner self of a lady has been unleashed in me. I started shopping a little, and I'm totally not proud of it. In fact, most of the time, it will end up with me feeling terribly guilty, which was what happened this week. For the first time in life, I started to do some online shopping, and I sort of got hooked up with it. So much so of telling my parents I want to save up as much as possible to fulfill my dreams of travelling around the world. A sudden guilt engulfed me that I have spent more than what I should even in my very first month being here. However, I would comfort myself with the fact that people usually spend more during their settling down period anyways. Being in this situation of wanting to save up to make up for what I have spent, for two consecutive weekends, I had seniors from my UQ7 Life Group treating me meals. I was out of words, they wouldn't accept anything in return. Self reminder: pay it forward. His hands were there somewhere.
Just two days ago, I had a conversation with a friend whom I have just met about the current batch of bursary students back home. She told me that the new batch are only sponsored for three A-level subjects, while during my year, everything was paid for, even the optional Thinking Skills subject. She told me that the application process of her friends who are wanting to further their studies in the UK isn't going as smooth as it was for us. With the missing flight incident, more money has to be channeled for search parties. Given all these circumstances, the financial stability of the country is yet to be known. And when she mentioned that she felt kinda relieved that she has chosen to come to Australia when the opportunity was there, wide open for her to grab it. Flashbacks flooded my mind. I was in the exact same situations as her. I was so reluctant to come to Australia. And here I am. His hands were there somewhere.
Fasting, isn't as easy as I thought it would be. I kept giving myself excuses after excuses to go onto the social media which I have forbidden myself to log into. Temptation stood right in front of me. But this week, I manage to last for five days, although I still believe that I could have done better. His hands were there somewhere.
Compromise. I guess I have been compromising a little too much for as long as I can remember. And recently, I was put into a situation in which i had to make a decision - to compromise or otherwise. There is only one correct decision, and I clearly know which one it was, but then things aren't as easy when you're put in a crossroad, with great temptation to go astray. I was constantly being reminded of the verse in 2 Corinthians 6:14 that says, "Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?" It was an uphill battle, but in the end I came out victorious, for now. His hands were there somewhere.
A month over here and there is already slight friction in the family. It took me quite a lot of guts to send a super duper long message to my fellow housemates pouring my heart out to them. I emphasised how we should take up our responsibilities as a family to make our home a better place to live in, instead of always waiting for somebody else to clean up the mess. No response, as expected.To my amazement, I came home that day to a mopped floor and tidy kitchen. I don't expect things to change 180 degrees right away, but I know, His hands were there somewhere.
All the while wanting to obtain a degree overseas, I told myself I wouldn't settle for anything lower than an education in the United States, then I lowered my standards to the UK, and look here I am, in Australia! This is definitely not where I have dreamt to be, I wanted a different life, different culture, different environment, different weather, and to travel of course. I thought, I need all these to make my university life complete, to learn whatever I need to learn, but maybe I was wrong all the while. Maybe God wanted to teach me a whole set of different lessons after all. Maybe it wasn't just academic, but to live with people. Maybe it wasn't just to fulfill my dreams but to trust that He will provide in times to come. For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. (Jeremiah 29:11)
To trust that His hands were, are and will always be there somewhere.
"Your life is the best testimony, you might not need to keep telling others about God's love, they might not want to accept it. But you can always live it out, love them genuinely, let it be from God, don't expect anything in return. At the end of the day, it is God who changes a person, depending on His timing. Someone sow, someone reap, but at the end of the day, we all rejoice together." Maybe it is time to do a little reflection and ponder on that.
Over the week, this song has been on replay.
Let this be a declaration:
All my hands have made, I'm laying down.
All that I hold dear, my many crowns.
My constant request above all things.
Every hour I wake, be near me.
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