The tiny circle of awesome people

*Typewriter typing*

*Narrator narrating in the background*

Thursday 22nd May 2014. 

I stayed back at uni to seek for assistance with CREO from Adrian. Again. We ended up talking about random stuff such as what each of us carry in our bags. Krystel has the weirdest things in her bag, such as her flight ticket to Seoul which dates back a year ago lol. We also looked at our old Facebook photos to see how much we have changed in the past few years. I did not have to cook dinner today, most of my housemates went for an event in uni, so I ate out with Krystel and Adrian. It's just amazing how different we are but how well we can click. Oh, happy day.

Saturday. 24th May 2014. 

So, I spent the entire evening/night at ALA's (Adrian Leroy and Andrew's) 'cause we were invited over for dinner. We had really nice food. Chinese dumplings, pasta, cous cous and quiche were on the menu. After tasting their cooking, man, ours is seriously nothing man. And they are guys! 

And their house is so nicely decorated and so cozy. Maybe it's really time for us to decorate our house now. The fellowship was amazing. I feel like we owe them so much, 'cause we were nobody yet they treated us a meal. I mean, who are we to deserve this? 

After dinner we even had a jam session. There are so many hidden talents among our housemates I can't even... Never knew Joseph can play the drum or the piano, or Ivan, the piano. Makes me feel uber lousy being with this people. And Adrian, man that guy is good! It's like you give him any song and he can just play it out by hearing. That was a perfect end to the week, I hope everyone had fun like I did. 

Monday. 26th May 2014. 

So, after the life group on Friday, Elena decided that my life story is too interesting that she asked me out for lunch today. (Okay, I totally made that inference up myself lol.) To be honest, I didn't regret accepting the offer 'cause we ended up talking so much about life. We talked about the dreams my brother and I share, mission trips, current problems that I'm facing, how we ended up doing the degree that we are doing, baptism of the Holy Spirit, things I gave up along the way in life, sports and so on. 

She told me that at first she thought that I'm super quiet, but after talking to me a few times, she had this feeling in her that there are still a lot of stories untold in me that made her really keen to dig more out. And eventually, she was also glad that she did, 'cause she realized that I'm someone whom she would enjoy talking to as well. 

Friday and Sunday are routines, where I get to meet my life group people on a weekly basis. Being surrounded by such people sometimes just makes me wanna take back my words about me regretting to come over to Australia. Of course, I wouldn't know what kind of people I'll meet if I were to go to the UK, but when you're blessed with such goodness, why not just appreciate and be grateful? 

I have always been a very passive person when it comes to meeting new people. As in, if nobody approaches me, I take a long time to step out of my comfort zone to introduce myself to others. (I know that isn't a good thing, it's probably time for me to change.) A big shoutout to all UQ7 members for making me feel welcomed in your tiny circle of awesome people! 

Bigger than imagined

"Focus not on the little that you have, but on what God can do with the little that you have."

Random thought #2

Sometimes, you read other people's posts or you listen to other people's story, and you feel like that person is narrating your story, that you've been through the exact same thing in your life. That déjà vu feeling is kinda creepy at times, and it makes you feel like screaming out that you know exactly how the other person is feeling right now. 

Sometimes, you speak to different people on different occasions, or maybe just listening to podcasts or messages, and the same point keeps repeating itself again and again. That is also pretty creepy. I believe there are only two explanations to that - it's either the devil's lies or God's truth. And that's when we really need to pray hard to ask God to help us discern his voice, and follow in obedience. 

Respond vs Runaway

Today's sermon did not just speak to me, it literally shouted out loud to me. Pastor Mark Edwards came to share with us about the method God uses to extend His kingdom. And it's through the fellowship of the few. 

God is looking down from up above, searching for hearts that are fully committed to Him. He is totally uninterested with our background; so many people who have worse backgrounds than us have been used and are still being used by God to do His mighty works. Neither is God interested in your talents or gifts 'cause He will train you and prepare you to do what He has called you before sending you out into the battlefield. 

There is one and only one person called for every need. Your name has been tied down to that need even before you exist. So do not expect God to just give up on you and look for someone else when you ask Him to do so. He will wait for you to respond after calling out to you, and He will wait patiently. Remember, you will not be ready when He calls you. In fact, nobody will ever be ready. 

Most of the times, we are called to accomplish missions that are way beyond our capability. That is when God stretches you and moulds you and teaches you to rely on Him. Be patient, 'cause it takes time for Him to remove the sharp edges after He has called you. 

Often, after knowing the description of the task that is given to us, excuses start rising. But imagine, if Moses kept up with his excuses and refuse to do what God has called him to do, the Israelites will still be enslaved in Egypt. The need will forever remain. 

A few days ago, I was listening to a podcast by Ps Bill Johnson and he preached about the exact same thing. "There is a miracle that God has been planning eternity past. A miracle, something impossible, something that can only be brought forth in it's purest form through you. It can't be done by someone else. It can only be brought forth accurately, powerfully, purely through you, and the world is crying for it." Coincidence? I don't think so. 

When God calls, respond. Do not escape. 

Endless Years - United Pursuit

I will hold you, child
When all is done
When the world is gone
And many songs have been sung

You will be with me
Through endless years
We will dance and sing
When your heart is fulfilled

So don't you close your eyes
Don't you lose your way
Don't you miss all the gifts
That are unforeseen

I'm your anchor and shield
I'm the wind in your sails
I'm the song in your heart

Random thought #1

"Climb the mountain not to plant your flag but climb it to embrace the challenge, enjoy the air and behold the view. Climb it so you can see the world, not so the world can see you." - David McCullough Jr

Jehovah Jireh

“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? (Matthew 6:25, 26 NIV)

Trust, and He will provide. He has promised us that He is Jehovah Jireh. He managed to feed a crowd of 5000 with just five breads and two fish, what is there to worry for us? 

UQ7

Today is the very few rare times I spend so much time with the UQ7 people (besides the weekly Life Group event). As different as we all may be, I call them family. It's really comforting to see this people always spending majority of their time together, be it meals, study, sports, church events and so on. I'm still extremely new to this group and I'm still trying to fit my way in, but I don't feel alien at all. 

I want to thank God for the fact that I'm surrounded by such awesome people. I wouldn't have been able to figure out how to use CREO to sketch my engineering drawing if it weren't for Adrian. I wouldn't have been able to do most of my Thermodynamics tutorial questions if it weren't for Zhuan Kai. Leroy has been my mentor and has been really looking after my welfare ever since I got here. We also have Bryan the foodie come over to help us prepare our meals once in a while, and also to teach us how to make sushi! Tricia, Clara, Elena, Chian Teng, Qian Zi, Adeline, Krystel are the many spiritual mentors that we have. 

Today is also the first day I've joined pre-service prayer. Despite being pressed on time to get done with my assignment, I thought that it would be good if I were to give God more time, since He totally deserves it. It is also a good thing to do to quiet down your heart after a busy week before service starts just so that you get to focus better during service. 

Hoping that I will grow more in His likeness and to fellowship more with his people.

Cheers!

La mia sorella

Recently I got an email from my sis. Just in case you think it's an elder sister that I'm receiving it from just 'cause emails are so old-school, you're wrong. In fact, my sister is a lot younger than I am. She was telling my stories after stories about what's going on in her school right now, mainly about friendship issues. 

In one of her replies she actually said this. "You know that time when you were still in Malaysia and I asked you why whenever we cross the road you would stand at the side of the oncoming cars? And you said because you have lived longer than me so I should get the chance to live longer. But I think that it should be the other way round. Just because you have lived longer, you have already accomplished so much. Just ending your life that way would be such a waste. As for me, I haven't really accomplished much yet, so even if I were to get hurt, it wouldn't matter much, I wouldn't lose much. You've already started towards your dreams, but I'm still studying. You already know where you want to be heading to, but I don't. So it really should be me standing at the side of the oncoming traffic." 

8 years gap. Imagine that coming out from a primary school kid. I couldn't hold back my tears. I went speechless. I have only been gone for two months and that kid has grown so much. She was so blessed to have two elder siblings watch over her and guide her into life. If I were her, I would proudly say that I am the luckiest kid on earth. However, she had to experience what it is like having both her elder siblings leave home at such a tender age. She had nobody her age to turn to at home. 

Since young, my sister has been extremely caring. No matter how sad she was, she wouldn't want anyone else to be sad like her. She would try her best to cheer you up when you're down or write you notes of encouragement to make you feel better. Even when her friends betrayed her, she wouldn't even think of taking revenge. Instead, she would stay loyal and still willingly be by their side when they needed it most, despite whatever ill treatments she get. 

It is such a blessing to witness her growing day by day. You'd think that I taught her a lot for her to get to where she is today, but I would say it's more like it's the other way round. I just pray that she keeps growing in faith and be the woman God wants her to be in future. 

Honour

I realize I tend to blog a lot more these days than I used to. Not to say I have more free time, probably just 'cause my life is a little more interesting right now than it is before (which I don't think that's the case), or maybe just 'cause I tend to reflect more (at the same time overthink a little too much) recently, which is usually the source of inspiration to my blog posts. 

Anyways, getting to my point, remember how I used to rant about my housemates? Maybe I haven't mentioned about the uber long message I sent to the group hoping they would all play their role in making our house a home instead of just a house. That was a month after I got here to Australia. But conversations with many visitors to our house made me see the other side of the story. Many tend to feel jealous of our household simply because they see us as a family rather than just housemates. They think the little 'family' that we've got here is pretty lively and close-knit. They just feel so welcomed here. Well, that definitely is a good thing. 

I can always argue that what visitors wouldn't see is the struggles behind the scenes when they are gone, of how much we actually have to go through getting everything sort out so that it would look glamorous from the outside. But where in the world would one find a relationship without conflicts? Conflicts are inevitable, and they can either strengthen a relationship, or tear it apart, depending on how the people involved choose to deal with it. 

So now I have learnt to look at this from a visitor's perspective, and I cannot be more grateful. Visitors come to our place and rant about their housemates (kinda sound like me ranting), and I instantly thank God for giving me such housemates.

One thing I truly believe is that if you honour others, others will honour you too. But you shouldn't have the mindset of 'I honour you, but you don't honour me back, so now I will choose not to honour you'. Like what Ps Russell said, honour is in the heart, and it doesn't seek for something in return.

Same goes to honouring God. For in 1 Samuel 2:30 it says, "But now the Lord declares: ‘Far be it from me! Those who honour me I will honour, but those who despise me will be disdained.'" To honour is to give weight to and to value. If one honours people's opinion more that God's, it means that he or she worships people instead of God.

I remember mom and dad gave me this framed art which reads 'Prayer Changes Things' on one of my birthdays many years ago, and to be honest, I kinda doubted it for many years. Sometimes when I pray, I just can't help thinking, hey there are 7 billion people on this Earth, what makes me think that God will be listening to my prayer?

But I was wrong. He answers our prayers, it's just a matter of time, as long as it's aligned with His will. Helpless as I was a month ago, I had nobody else to go to but to cry out to God. I have to make it clear that I'm not here to brag about how holy I am or how nice I am, my point is that prayers DO change things. 

I prayed for a change in the family, but all I got back from God was that my heart wasn't right (I believe I have mentioned that in one of my previous blog posts as well). God wanted me to pray for a transformation in my heart instead. But my heart was hardened, I was thinking, God why is this my fault? I was already doing all I can to keep this family going. But God said, nope, you can do better than that, you just need to rely on me, I am your source of joy and strength. And so I did, or at least I gave it a try.  

You would be amazed by what God can accomplish. Things that you'd never think can happen in the human realm can happen when God wants it to happen. God taught me how to give. I wouldn't say I'm a stingy person to begin with, but often times when I give, I would hold something back, afraid that if I were to give it all I wouldn't have anything left for myself. Souvenirs, chocolates, tea for now, and surprisingly I just never thought of myself having not enough anymore, nor did I expect anything in return. Seeing them blessed in turn makes me feel blessed. I guess God just wanted me to not just know but also believe that He is our provider, and we can fully trust in Him no matter how hard times are. 

Going back to my point of honouring God and God honouring us. I slowly see a change in attitude of my housemates. While I was gone for the week in Melbourne, one of my housemates actually took the initiative to lead the family. There was this one weekend when I was super busy with my assignment and I went downstairs to see dinner prepared. One day, I came home to a clean floor. One of my housemates left a chocolate bar thanking whoever who helped her do her laundry. I was carrying a mattress down the stairs one day when my housemate asked if I needed help. These are just a few examples out of the many. I was touched beyond words. Nobody is perfect, I don't expect them to be perfect. But now I know, my family is more lovely than it was. 

When you put God first, God will put you first. And now I am praying that one day they will see God's love towards the world, as well as towards each and every one of them. 

To run the race

So, I finally went jogging today, after so long. I'm pretty sure in no time I will just give up as long as I have no motivation to keep on, but I really hope I won't. I'm not planning to lose weight or fats or whatnot like many people aim to do, I just wish to keep myself healthy and regain my stamina. To tell people that I used to do track, swim and play badminton is such a shameful thing to do right now 'cause I can barely run a mile without taking a few breaks.

But while I was running, so many thoughts were running through my head as well. We often compare life as a race, and it is especially meaningful to us as Christians. In the Bible it is mentioned "I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day—and not only to me, but also to all who have longed for his appearing. (2 Timothy 4:7, 8 NIV)"

To run, you need the strength, be it mental or physical. Many give up in the process, but only those who are determined will get to the finish line eventually. 

To run, you need to your eyes fixed on the goal. If one is motivated simply by fame, money, power, self-indulgence, one might just simply fall behind, or cut corners in order to get to the end. 

To run, you need to have faith. If you start doubting your ability, if you distrust what heights God can bring you to, how hard He can push you, and how He can use you to demonstrate His greatness, often you would just question why are you doing this? Jesus is the author and finisher of our faith, and as long as we have faith in Him, nothing is impossible. 

To run, you will definitely encounter obstacles. Distractions and temptations will lead to sin. The devil would go all out to deceive us, whispering in our ears telling us that we will not be able to make it to the end, but if we give in to these lies, we will never be able to see what greater plans God has in store for us ahead. 

To run, you need encouragement. Brothers and sisters in Christ, as well as those faithful men and women of God are good examples that we can follow and give us moral support when we fail time and time again. Pastor asked the congregation this morning whether the church matters to us? Sometimes it makes me feel bad because I spend so little time fellowshipping with my life group members. In a way, I think it is extremely important to have a group of strong believers around you while running the race, those who are willing to give you a hand when you fall instead of laughing at you or walking away. 

On a side note, the jog today made me miss my host family in the States more. It was this weather when I used to do track, seeing the track field reminded me of my track meets, my coaches, my teammates, my daily track training that made my body sore so much, my host mom who always had to pick me up from school late at night after the meets, my used-to-be-in-shape body lol. 

And on my way home, (as well as when I was jogging), the view was so nice that I had to stop and savour it for a moment. The stars were pretty, the weather perfect. It makes you think a lot about life (and get emotional about it), how amazing God is to you. I look up into the sky, realize how small I am, but also how well He has taken care of me every step of the way, how much He has blessed me in my life. I just want to thank you Lord, for what you have done for me and in me.