Busy.
For the entire
semester, that's the only word that came out of me whenever someone asked me
how I was. I'm pretty sure I must have said it so much that I managed to annoy
some of my friends. But I only did that because I couldn't seem to find another
word that can aptly describe my day/week/month/semester.
I live on a gram of
caffeine each day.
I live on an hour of
conversation on a regular weekday.
I live on six hours
of sleep each day, not because I can afford it but simply because any less than
six hours will just make me groggy the next day and decrease my productivity
tremendously.
The rest of the day,
excluding tutes, pracs and workshops, I am pretty much in my room. On my bed.
Not sleeping.
Reading and writing.
I recently discovered the usefulness of a TV in my research course - I can
simply extend my computer screen with it. I have no idea why this thought has
never crossed my mind until a friend pointed it out to me one day; my dad has
always been doing that! And so, my bed is the closest platform to my TV.
Therefore, it has since, by default, become my new workplace. I even put
cardboards next to my bed as 'whiteboards'.
Taking two heavy
courses in one semester is already a huge mistake, but it's one that I didn’t
regret. I have learned that not all mistakes make you regret, some just push
you to strive harder. I was forced to learn programming and electronics. I had
to read up on extremely technical issues on energy, some which I don't even
understand. I haven't been to a single chemistry lecture since week one, and
have stopped attending math lectures too after week four because I have no time
for that. I have learned the importance of having reflective journals in order
to monitor progress and refine thoughts. I was pushed out of my comfort zone
when I needed to present my research findings to my supervisor's supervisor
(some CEO guy) and a cohort of intelligent students. None of these was easy.
But that was not
all. I got myself involved in a mission trip and so we have a lot of planning,
trainings, preparations and fundraising to do. And there was mentoring, Bible
studies and endless (deep, constructive) conversations that really provoked a
series of thought process to take place in the brain. I'm sure many new neuron
routes must have been established in my brain LOL. Serving in ministries, road
trips, and evax brought friendship to a whole new level. New bonds were formed,
old ones, strengthened. It was also truly a humbling process, to be willing to
be corrected and taught.
I live by the help
of friends.
I live by the
support of my family members.
I live by the
understanding of my housemates.
I live by the grace of God.
I know I definitely
wouldn’t have pulled through this semester if any one of the aforementioned
element is absent.
How many times I
felt this guilt eating me on the inside for not being able to participate in my
household activities? I've lost count. And myself thinking that I've loved
enough, only to be reprimanded by an inner voice telling me I have yet to learn
to love. I looked at them, they did not complain although they were doing all
the work, and then there was me…
Whenever I get
stressed, there will only be two solutions to it. Or maybe three, the third one
being procrastinate and trying to escape from reality, which will not get me
anywhere still. The first two being cry (yes, I cry a lot these days) and call
home. Somehow, there is just this peace I get whenever I call home, despite
knowing they can't do much being thousands of miles away.
OH I can't even list
out all the times my friends helped me. With my projects, research, in my daily
live; simply picking me up when I fall and get me back on track.
But most importantly
it was God overseeing everything throughout. He placed people and
occasions at the right time right place.
He knows best.
