Reverse
chronology.
An
account of five different incidences that occurred in the past month.
***
I woke up
in the morning with a tune on replay in my head. Subconsciously, I started
humming it all morning. In the shower, while having breakfast, walking to uni.
I met up with a couple of friends who gather weekly for outreach event on
campus. "Let us all turn to Romans 8:11"
Romans 8:11
And if the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the
dead is living in you, he who raised Christ from the dead will also give life
to your mortal bodies because of his Spirit who lives in you.
Did I mention that I just read Ephesians 1:18-20 the very same morning?
Ephesians 1:18-20
I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened
in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of
his glorious inheritance in his holy people, and his incomparably great power
for us who believe. That power is the same as the mighty strength he exerted
when he raised Christ from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the
heavenly realms.
Back to
the story of the tune. The lyrics of the song?
By Your spirit I will rise from the ashes of defeat
The resurrected king is resurrecting me
In Your name I come alive to declare your victory
How
coincidental, or not?
***
The
worship leader sang the first line of the song, and there I stood, speechless.
Tears started rolling down my cheeks uncontrollably. This must be the Spirit
working, I thought, how did I even knew the song before he started singing?
Well,
long story short, what happened during that Sunday service was that while we
were singing one of the worship songs, a tune came into my head, and I just had
this weird feeling that I NEEDED to know what the song was. I continued humming
it in my head and all of a sudden it all came to me. Little did I know that
this would be the next song we'd sing, and little did I know that God had a
message in that song. For me.
Hope which was lost, now stand renewed.
Psalm 8:4
What is mankind that you are mindful of them, human
beings that you care for them?
***
I stared
at the lecturer blankly. I couldn't understand a single thing he was saying. My
mind was racing. My following two weeks are jammed packed. And mid-semester
exams is the on the weekend two weeks from now. I couldn't see how I would even
be possible to find time to study for my exams, or complete my assignments. I
walked out of class extremely demotivated. I couldn't see beyond this huge
mountain. And that was when I asked God for help. Walking home, I fired up my
Spotify. A song that I've never heard before (the wonders of Spotify) came on.
Peace be still you are with me
In this hope I abide
Jesus be my sustainer
Strengthen me in this trial
Tryin' hard to picture in my head God being the DJ and modifying my
Spotify playlist.
This is my prayer in the desert
When all that's within me feels dry
This is my prayer in the fire
In weakness or trial or pain
I was
reading a book that quoted this song while telling a story of a mother whom after many years of wanting a child, finally got one but passed away few days
later due to health complications. Despite all the mourning and weeping,
she decided to stay strong in God and sang this very song.
All of my life
In every season
You are still God
I have a reason to sing
I have a reason to worship
Right
after getting to the end of the chapter, I left home, headed for cell group and
guess what, God never stop the surprises. The worship team was just going
through the final round of practice for the night. Lo and behold they sang
"All of my life, in every season…"
***
I
struggled with things that I don't even know how to put into words, especially
in my faith journey. Ironically, I ended up spending more time than ever
seeking God, wanting to know that what I've believed in for the past years is
true.
Silence.
Not a single word.
I came to
a point of desperation (or helplessness) that I pretty much just prayed the
first thing that came into mind. "Lord, if everything else fails, speak to me through music. Amen."
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