Twenty Fifteen

Seated across the table were my friends, talking about getting part-time jobs while juggling with their studies, working out and getting tanned et cetera, while here I was in deep thought: everyone's lives are so different from one another. One thing for sure, so very different from mine. They worry about different things than I do. They are passionate about different things than I am. They hold different things close to their hearts than I do. The smallest decisions that each of us make daily eventually lead us down paths that are so different from the person next to us.

As I laid down by the lake and gazed at the stars on display before me, I couldn’t help but think of how small and insignificant I am, being a part of the universe. Well, I turned 21 this year. See, usually turning twenty-one is a big deal to many, but now, comparing it with the splendour of creation just puts everything into perspective. Yes, indeed it's just a matter of perspective. It's really moments like these that make me feel like I shouldn’t be stressing out so much over things that I have no control over.

"I don't know how your 2015 was like. It could have been smooth-sailin'; it could have been such a roller coaster ride that you're thinking 'there's no way I'm gonna repeat the year', but why not we still choose to thank God for the year," he said. I guess mine was the latter. I started off the year with a great plunge, not like how anyone would love to start their year.

"Sometimes God allows us to go through tough times in order to wake us up. God sometimes uses alarming circumstances or uncomfortable situations to bring us back to Him."

This was a year in which

I lost someone very close to my heart;

I was challenged to surrender my dreams and plans;

My darkest past was dug up;

I've made many mistakes, big ones and small ones;

I was pushed out of my comfort zone;

There were countless nights when I had to cry myself to sleep.

"When we are tested, we can choose to complain or we can try to see God's blessings in disguise and how He is stretching us to develop our character."

However, this was also a year in which God had spoken so much to me, in all possible methods, even at times when I know I was so distant from Him. Some might think that it's creepy, but to me, it was a continuous reassurance that no matter how messed up I am, He is there and is always reaching out to me. 

"We are hard-pressed on every side, but not crushed, perplexed bit not in despair, persecuted but not abandoned struck down but not destroyed."

This was a year in which

I was provided a job when I thought all doors were closed;

I was freed from the burden that had weighed me down for years;

I was taught to be humble in serving;

I witnessed the living testimonies of God honouring people when they choose to honour Him;

I've learned that however big of a planner I am, God is still a bigger planner (FYI, planners don't like their plans being messed up by someone else);

I was encouraged and inspired by the hearts who never grow weary in serving God;

I saw God's protection over my family while we were travelling;
I had friends who visited and friends who walked with me through hard times;

I discovered hidden talents that God has granted me, of which I've decided to put into good use;
I managed to finish the Bible in a year (finally, after 21 years!).

"Though the fig tree does not bud, and there are no grapes on the vines, though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen, and no cattle in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will be joyful in God my Saviour."

It's just a matter of perspective, whether you want to choose to be grateful for how much you had grown from the challenges you encountered, or be bitter about the hardships you had to go through.

2015, thank you for shaping me into who I am today, but even if given a chance, I wouldn't want to relive the year. 2016, for what you have in store, bring it on!